Sunday, July 31, 2011

Sleep over and other thoughts






Friday night before sending the kids up to Idaho for a week we had our greatly anticipated sleep over here in Nicki's hospital "suite". It was great fun! We had some dinner in the room with Nicki's parents and all four kids. That usually consists of trying to put in bites of food in your mouth in between trying to catch Ruby from knocking over drinks or falling off a chair. Ruby really likes the blue latex hospital gloves and is constantly asking to be lifted up to pull gloves out of the box on the wall. She also enjoys holding the box of tissues and pulling tissues out one at a time, throwing them on the floor. The Rec therapist brought in some paints and crafts, along with two small kids wicker chairs, and all of the kids like to sit at a little table in our room and paint crafts. Ruby likes to try and get close enough to grab the paint and throw it off. So far, she has not succeeded. So, here are some pics of the sleep-over. After dinner Grandma and Grandpa O'Brien took Ruby back and we started the fun. First we went out to the courtyard where each kid got a chance to push Nicki in the wheelchair and Caleb and I played a little hoops and fussbol. After the courtyard fun we went back to the room and set up the beds. Nicki of course kept her bed, Caleb and Elsie were on the double hide-away couch, Sophie was on a single fold out chair, and I was on a roller cot. Needless to say, there was not much room for walking around in the room! After setting up the beds we watched "Gnomeo and Juliet" together. We all really enjoyed that movie and I was interested to see that my friend from BYU undergrad days, Chris Bacon, did the music--along with James Newton Howard. Pretty cool.

Bring on the night.... After a made up story and a new bandade for Sophie's cut on her arm the kids began drifting off. Around midnight or 1am the nurse came in to do her usual checkup and Caleb was the only one to wake up, so that was good. He and the others loved hearing the heart monitor on the baby. So, the kids actually slept pretty well given the circumstances! Fun times were had by all. The next morning (Saturday) I took the kids back to our house where we got everything loaded in the van for Idaho and then drove back to the hospital to say goodbye. Nicki and I went out to the parking lot to tearfully say goodbye to the kids for one week. It seems like I've waved goodbye to these kids WAY too many times this summer. We are all looking forward to just being together in some familial normalcy again. When will that happen? Not sure.... We just wait and see.

The baby: she is doing great. Her heart continues to pump along doing the important dips and accelerations typical of a healthy, growing baby. She is definitely a fighter! Nicki's hematocrit continues to drop and that is a concern. But, the docs aren't too concerned about it. She is still not at the point of needing a transfusion yet, but that time may come in the near future. We shall see. She is feeling very weak and tired, and it seems that weakness and tiredness may last the duration until this baby comes.

Today Nicki got to go in the wheelchair with me to the LDS hospital service. It was nice to sit there together and take the Sacrament together. The service certainly was full of a smattering of folks going through a variety of challenges and struggles. I looked at the row of wheelchair-ridden individuals and thought about how grateful I am to have the current health I do. As I sat there I also thought of how wonderful it is I can bring myself with all my worries, struggles, pains, angers, frustrations, concerns and grief; I can come with all of that and find peace through it all in the Savior. I found this great quote from Soren Kierkegaard in his book "Practice in Christianity" that is really meaningful to me in this light.

He writes, "I will give you rest." --Amazing! Then those words "Come here to me" presumably must be understood in this way: Remain with me, I am that rest, or to remain with me is that rest. It is not as it usually is--that the helper who says "Come here" thereupon must say "Now leave" as he explains to each individual where the particular help he needs is to be found, where the analgesic herb grows that can heal him, or where there is that quiet place where he can relax from his labor, or where there is that happier part of the world where people are not burdened. No, he who opens his arms and invites all--ah, if all, all you who labor and are burdened (this strikes me that we OUGHT to bring everything we are really experiencing to Christ, rather than bury our real suffering or concerns to put on a happy face--we ought to bring every single aspect of our person-hood), were to come to him, he would embrace them all and say: Now remain with me, for to remain with me is rest. The helper is the help. Amazing! He who invites all and wants to help all-his method of treating the patient is just as if intended for each one individually, as if in each patient he had only this one patient. Ordinarily a physician must divide himself among his many patients, who, no matter how many they may be, are very far from being all. He prescribes the medication, tells what should be done, how it is to be used--and then he goes to another patient; or if the patient has come to him, he lets the patient go. The physician cannot sit all day long with one patient, even less have all his patients at home with him and yet sit all day with one patient--without neglecting the others. Therefore the helper and the help are not really one and the same. Throughout the day, the patient keeps with him the help that the physician prescribes in order to use it continually, whereas the physician checks on him only occasionally or the patient visits the physician only occasionally. But when the helper is the help, he must remain with the patient all day long, or the patient with him--how amazing, then, that this helper is the very one who invites all!

I really appreciate Kierkegaard's thoughts here! We can find direct and constant help from the Helper as we come to Him with all we are; with all our burdens.

More later...

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

25+

The baby girl is now over 25 weeks old!!! Today we did an ultrasound and girl actually measured around 26 weeks...because she is pumped up with za steroidz, ja!!! She's going to take care of Nicki and me in our old ages.... Anyway, we are still here. Nicki had several days of very little bleeding. Pretty much from Sunday afternoon through this morning she was nearly blood-free. Then, during a non-stress test (where they monitor the baby's heart-rate for 20 minutes) she passed a large clot and bled heavily. This sent her, naturally, back to L&D in room 3. This was a new room for us, but we didn't spend long in it. Understanding her pattern more clearly now, the docs did not put her on magnesium and did not have us spend the night there. They monitored for a few hours, denied Nicki food for a few hours, and then--seeing the baby was still healthy--sent us back to our 2309 where we are now spending the night again. So, that was our sixth trip to L&D. I have a cart that I keep essential things on that I can transport very quickly to L&D, so movement between rooms now is a smooth and painless process. We're getting a hang of it.

All of the perkiness aside, we are learning some things. As a hospital chaplain I really had no clue what it meant to go into patients' and family members' private space to invite visitation. I think before I always tried to maintain a healthy awareness of the others' space and always tried to be sure I had the other's permission before coming in, etc. However, now--as a family member--I'm learning how precious that personal space is!!! Maybe it's just me, but most of the time I could pretty much do without any visitors--staff included, unless they are there to do a very quick assessment or routine check-up, or it's a doctor giving us some news. I am really coming to appreciate the awareness and propriety some staff have to do the simple things like knock on the door before entering. There are quite a few who have that concept down. Then, there are some who don't have it down yet. Sleep is a hot commodity around her as well. Those nurses and staff who respect our wish to not be visited beginning at certain times until the regular check-up time score big with me. However, tonight I was VERY bugged when the charge nurse came in at 11pm (just 30 minutes after Nicki had fallen asleep) to announce that she is the charge nurse and, how are things going? Etc. etc. I understand the need to check in and make sure your nurses are doing there job, but at 11pm? (maintenance man...)

So, as a chaplain, I'm chalking a lot of this up for experience! I want to be even more aware of these things as I go visiting with patients and their family members. I'll tell you what, there are some amazing healthcare workers here at this hospital and I wantyou all to know that we have been blessed by knowing some of them. Also, one thing is for certain, many of them have been blessed by my beautiful wife as they interact with them! There have been times when I think Nicki has been the caregiver and they have been the patients (not physically of course, but emotionally, spiritually). She is lifting people even here from her hospital bed. I'm a lucky man!

Those are the happs for now. Tomorrow I'm going to get the kids from Provo and bring them here hopefully to have a sleepover
in room 2309 with mom and me! If that really ends up panning out I'll get pics and post 'em.

Monday, July 25, 2011

Steady does it

Not much has happened since the last blog...thankfully! Most of Sunday and all of today we spent in 2309, happy not to be in L&D! Doctor Branch came and saw us this morning and said that he could see Nicki kind of just hanging out here for another 9 weeks or so until at least 34 weeks gestation. That can seem like a long time, right? Yeah, it can. So, we'll see how things go. I went down and spent some time with the kids in Provo yesterday afternoon and evening. It was good to see them! It was confirmed to me, however, that they are doing just fine without us, and are having a blast with their cousins down there. Ruby loves Zeus (the dog) and is enjoying drinking green smoothies. I wrestled for a while with all the boys and Sophie and Elsie--that was a lot of fun, and there was only one casualty during the wrestle.

I took Nicki out again today for a stroll in the wheel chair. We went out to the same patio we went to before. This time Nicki walked around for a bit, and then we just sat and read Harry Potter 7 (reading prior to watching the movie...in a couple months when the time is right) for a bit.

For now, things are going pretty smooth. We'll see how tonight goes!

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Back in room 5







These are some recent pics from the last couple days: visiting, marching to the hospital, eating apples, packing to go to Provo.

Last night Nicki's bleeding picked up again. Yes, it happened again at night--we're beginning to see a trend with the night time. So, they moved us back into L&D to be observed. This is our fifth move back to L&D and our second time in room 5. It's fitting, I guess, that we would be in room 5 on Sunday because there is a plaque on the outside of this room's door which reads that this room was donated/sponsored by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints! Just in time for Sunday! It's our own little Church--and also we get to spend our 24th of July here. Good stuff.

After getting to the room last night the doctor--Dr. Chin (a partner with Dr. Branch, Silver, and Draper) came in and did a check-up, to include an ultrasound. They have been talking to us about delivery methods--if that were to be necessary at this point. Up until now the baby has been breech, and with a breech baby at this gestational age they like to still try and deliver vaginally. However, if the baby gets above 700ish grams then the risk becomes too great on the baby's head for a vaginal delivery and they recommend C-Section. So, Dr. Chin did the ultrasound at about 11pm and we found out some good things. The baby looks great and there seems to be enough water surrounding her. She weighs in right now at about 730 grams, so the vaginal delivery (if she were to come in the near future) is out of the picture. We got to see the little girl's face and she looks feisty--sort of like our other girs she seems to have a mind and will of her own. I suppose this is a testament that even pre-born babies have agency. So, after the ultrasound we settled in for another sleep in L&D. Poor Nicki has had to sleep way too many times on these L&D beds! One good thing is they are not administering the magnesium this time. They are just waiting to see if the bleeding slows and then they'll send us back to our home base, room 2309 in the Ante Partem department. So, we now wait to see when that will be.

This has been an interesting emotional roller coaster for us with so many emotional tugs in different directions. On one hand we want the baby girl to stay in as long as possible. On the other, we want to go home and regain some semblance of a normal life again. On yet another (I know, most of us only have two hands but just go with me...) we think constantly about our four other kids and their feelings/emotions through this all (although we are pretty convinced we think about them a whole lot more than they think of us, especially when they are with their cousins!!), and wonder if we should be doing something different with them through all of this--of course we are tugged by the need to be their parents even while doing this hospital dance! It's all very challenging. Through it all, though, we feel the Lord's presence and protection. He is watching over all of these happenings and has given us amazing families who are helping us so much through all of this. One specific blessing has been the way Ruby has opened to others and slept so well. She has been taking great naps and sleeping through the night for over 12-13 hours a shot. She has also allowed others to hold and help her. Plus, she has discovered the joy of Zeus--Greg's dog :) in Provo. So, we are all being held in Heavenly Father's love at this time, and for that we are grateful.

Saturday, July 23, 2011

Blinded By The Light



Today was a relatively quiet day in our hospital world--which is good. The big event was that I got to push Nicki out to the "patio" for some sunshine. She really enjoyed that and so did I! We did not have to go over to L&D at all today and the bleeding has slowed quite a bit. Nicki has had some contractions today, but they have been mostly sporadic. Last night was kind of crazy--in addition to our regular night visitors (nurses, CNAs etc) we were awakened around 11:30pm by the lights flipping on and the maintenance man cruising in with a screw driver to fix the bedside thermometer! If I wasn't half-asleep when I saw what he was doing I probably would have asked him in an extremely kind way to please come back in the morning. But, I was half asleep and so I just lay there on my "bed" wondering why in tarnation was he in our room in the middle of the night to fix something? What kind of maintenance man works at midnight? Anyway, it was weird. Other than that, we have had great experiences with the staff here. They have been very kind and personable.

Another thing about today--because of the blood loss Nicki's hematocrit level has gone down to 27, it's suppose to be above 34. They don't seem to be too extremely worried though. No transfusion will be needed until it dips below 24. So, we are truckin' along watching how things develop from day to day. We are hoping for a quiet Sunday tomorrow. We got to webcam with the kids today and saw them dressed up in their pioneer garb to go to Oak Hills First Ward Pioneer day parade and ice cream party. They were pretty excited. We heard Caleb in the background yelling at cousin Tommy. We got him on the webcam and asked him about why he was doing that. He said, "Tommy is Joseph Smith and we are the mob!!!" OK, that makes sense.

Some of you know I've been working on some different applications--one for the Air Force and the other for board certification as a hospital chaplain. Well, today I sent off my packet for board certification. That was quite a feat and it's GREAT to have that done. Well, more tomorrow! Love to all.

Friday, July 22, 2011

Still here...

Well, here we are on Friday night and we are...still in the hospital. We were hoping for a nice evening at home with our kiddos, but that wasn't in the cards! Early this morning around 1:30am Nicki started bleeding pretty heavily so they sent us back over to L&D to monitor her. Once arriving there they determined she would need to do another regimen of magnesium...terrible stuff. There were also small contractions that showed up this time on the monitor. The baby was very stalwart throughout the entire ordeal, however--and probably even got some great sleep through the whole thing, hopefully. Nicki sure didn't get much sleep, but was an amazing woman through the whole magnesium thing again. It's hard to see her go through that. Today in the L&D things went pretty well with the bleeding, well enough that this evening they sent us back to our room with a view in the ante partem unit. The staff there welcomed us back with open arms, and we them!

Mom and dad O'Brien sure have been a HUGE help to us these past several days here taking care of the kids at our house. Today they headed back to Idaho and mom and dad Williams came up and took the kids to Provo for a few days. It was SO great to see the kids for a little bit. They are doing great through all of this. Caleb is maintaining his true allegiances through it all as well. On our way up to the hospital tonight for the kids to see Nicki Caleb said, "Dad, this hospital is part of the University of Utah, right?" I said it was. He put on a sly grin and said, "Well, look at my shirt!" I looked and he had his soccer shirt on that sported a huge BYU Cougar insignia on the front. This hospital stay isn't swaying his blue heart, that's good to see :).

We are taking things day to day now and realizing it is probably best not to expect an exodus anytime soon. Thanks for all your prayers and thoughts. More to come...

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Hangin in there...






Things have been pretty smooth the last two days. The baby has a very healthy heart-beat and is looking great from the medical perspective. Nicki is feeling well and the bleeding has been down. So, with all of this good news, the doctor told us today that Nicki may get to go home tomorrow...all depending on how tonight and tomorrow morning go. So, we shall see! Yesterday was a day of visits from a few different people we love. And, we have had visits from lots of people we love. Here are some pics of some of those visits. We love you all and feel your prayers!

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

24 weeks today!

So she is really at 24 weeks today! We made our first goal! It's been a pretty uneventful day for us, too. I had two of my sisters come this morning to visit and cheer me up. It helped so much. Plus, I had a nurse named Ashlee and Jamie as my CNA. A tender mercy from the Lord. My bleeding picked back up after I passed another blood clot but that seems to be the routine. Later this afternoon, Steph headed home to ID and Robbi took her little family to the airport. It marks the end of the O'Brien summer fun. This little one wants to join the party for all the Williams wedding party coming up. We've set the next goal of Aug. 27th that marks 28 weeks. Send good vibes for that day. After Rob flew off my parents. Came to visit and await Ryan bringing the kids for a visit. It's so nice to see them and I feel so blessed by all the help and distractions that the kids are having. The rec therapist brought some great chairs and crafts for the kids to do when they visit. We feel a lot of peace and power from so many. Lots of love going out to all of you.

Monday, July 18, 2011

Back and Forth

Ryan here....

So, today things were going fine until I left to go buy a copy of Microsoft Office for Mac at Best Buy! I bought the software and then began trying to make my way onto the freeway to go home and check in with Robbi and the kids. Well, something happened (as it often does with me and directions) and I got on the wrong freeway heading north back into SLC rather than south heading toward our house! Arggghhh. So, as I rolled back into downtown SLC Nicki called...to tell me that she has begun bleeding a bit again--it was convenient that I was close to the hospital and not at home, so I headed back to the hospital! So, we are now back in L&D. The doctors did a test and determined there may be a possibility of some amniotic fluid discharge. This being the case they have started Nicki on a regimen of antibiotics. Not sure how long we'll be in L&D tonight before going back to the antepartem room (bigger, nicer, better hospital bed, better view, no IV etc!!). So, we continue to move back and forth between rooms. The baby continues to have a nice, strong heartbeat through all of it, so that's good to see.

Ups and downs

This is nick now back in the antepartum room. Things are slowing down now and looking a lot better again. . . Baby girl has a good strong heartbeat and loves to tap dance already. They took me off of the mag sufate last night at eleven, so happy to see that relationship end. But so happy too to know it's available if we need it. All you out there who have felt it's power understand. Now we just wait and watch and hope for lots of days to keep this "bun in the oven". The doctor said they may let me go home if I have five days between bleeding episodes. The placenta is abrupting now but can heal itself, that's where the prayers come in;). We know we are in a good place and that we are in the Lord's hands. We love each of you and hope you are all well.

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Hospital Stay


Hi all:

This is Ryan and I am going to try and keep everyone updated on here with regard to our hospital experience as it progresses. So, on Thursday, July 14th we came in to the U of U hospital because Nicki was bleeding. She is 23-1/2 weeks pregnant. That night things slowed down and, after observing her for a while in L&D they took us to a room in ante partem with a great view of SLC. We were in that room until about 1AM this morning when Nicki had more bleeding and they rushed her back to L&D. We slept off and on through the early morning while they measured things etc. Both Nicki and the baby are doing well. The prognosis is that there is a tear in the placenta (they found a portion of it on ultrasound this morning), and that is causing the bleeding. Early this morning the doc came in and basically said there is a 1% chance we will go home before delivering. So....we are here for a while it looks like. Is this really happening to US? I've seen this as a hospital chaplain at St Marks, but it's always someone else, not us! It's definitely a roller coaster ride. So, now the latest thing is that they are administering Nicki magnesium which is proven (just in the last four years) to decrease the chances of brain hemmoraging and cerebral palsy in premature babies significantly. This is a good thing! The side effects of the mag though can be pretty substantial to Nicki--she is already feeling very hot and tingly all over.

I'll try and keep this updated as we go. The baby girl is very healthy they say and has a powerful heartbeat. We've done the steroid injections to help with lung development and feel like everything possible is being done that can be done right now. Thanks for all your prayers and thoughts. More later....

Oh, Ruby and the kids REALLY enjoyed being in the hospital for a visit yesterday! Also, thanks to both of our families our kids are being fed and clothed!